Sail-eberty death match, Starlights free-for-all
by Golden Solaris
Summary: Will Taiki's enormous forhead be enough to win the fight?


Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, Don't sue me, I'm broke.  
  
STARMAKER vs STARFIGHTER vs STARHEALER  
  
STARLIGHT FREE-FOR-ALL  
  
  
  
Sailor Enigma: Bonjourno, Senshi Battle Zone fans! Today we have another fantabula action-packed fight for you! This week we have the wonderful, funny super-chica herself, Jupiterkat! And me! Engima-grrl!  
  
Jupiterkat: *blushes* Awwwww....you flatter me! But you're right! Today's fight should be a superkalifragilisticexpialidociously spiffy fight! With the wandering shooting stars themselves! The Sailor Starlights!  
  
Sailor Enigma: Yeah! That is, Seiya, Usagi's REAL true love *dodges hail of giant cucumbers from mamoru fans direction*, Yaten, the one with the awesome hair *swoon as little hearts pop over her head* and the unforgettable Taiki! With the giant forehead! The "special friend" of the two Billies!  
  
Jupiterkat: This ought to be an interesting match. Who do you think is gonna win?  
  
Sailor Engima: I love Yaten! He's such a fantab character....... Naoko SAYS Seyia's the most powerful. He's the leader and the best physical fighter! BUT, Taiki has an advantage if he uses his giant head-butt he's so well known for....  
  
Jupiterkat: To true, Seiya is super strong, and Taiki's got that forehead thing happening, but I don't think he could pull it off his forehead's shininess depended on it. But you forgot one factor: Yaten. He's still pretty strong doncha know. Not to mention he's got one helluvan attitude. But all in all, I'm going with Seya on this one. STAR SERIOUS LASER!  
  
Sailor Enigma: True, all true! I mean can you really deny the power of WHITE HAIR?  
  
Jupiterkat: Actually, yes. Yes I can. But I'm telling ya now, Yaten is gonna do some serious damage.  
  
Sailor Enigma: I agree! oooh! Does everybody know what time it is?  
  
Audience: ??? *teardrop*  
  
Sailor Enigma: Fight time! *hits the button*  
  
Jupiterkat: Engima?  
  
Sailor Enigma: Jkat? What happened?  
  
Jupiterkat: Uhhh...you tell me! You pressed the button! Eeeeeee!  
  
Sailor Enigma: Oops! *hits button again* *lights turn on* *pretzels fall all over the crowd* Eek darnit! Usako was playing with the controls again! *starts hitting buttons*  
  
*clowns start to run amuck* *sirens go off* *Jell-O falls down* *cheez wiz squirts everywhere  
  
Jupiterkat: USAKO! Grrrr!  
  
*Hail of plaid chiwawas fall* *Floor of announcer's booth disappears*  
  
Jupiterkat: AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh....*falls down a few stories*  
  
*announcers land on a giant button*  
  
Jupiterkat: Let's try and NEVER do that again okey? I don't like being cover in cheez whiz and Jell-o. Not to mention what those chiwawas may have left behind *shudders*  
  
Sailor Enigma: Definitely. Does everybody know what time it is?  
  
Audience: GONG TIME!  
  
Gong: DONG!!!!!!!!  
  
Jupiterkat: Woooo...Taco Bell: Cross the Border.  
  
Taco Bell Chiwawa: Yo Quiero Taco Bell. Hey man, did you see my buddies? You know the plaid guys?  
  
Jupiterkat: *points* Uhhh...they went thatta way.  
  
Sailor Engima: Interesting...... *shocked look* Get those clowns out of here! Where are the Starlights?  
  
*snapping* *whistling* *spotlight*  
  
Sailor Starfighter: Sailor Starfighter, stage on!  
  
Sailor Starhealer: Sailor Starhealer, stage on!  
  
Sailor Starmaker: Sailor Starmaker, stage on!  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
Jupiterkat: Yay! *Throws wingless ducks at the Star lights*  
  
*battle type music fills arena as the action starts*  
  
Sailor Enigma: Sailor Starmaker first starts by covering the arena with goo! EWWW!  
  
Jupiterkat: THAT'S IT! Every regular fight I do I get covered in goo! I want justice! I want a banana!  
  
Sailor Enigma: *punches buttons on the food replicator* Make Jupiterkat a banana!  
  
*POOF* *Jupiterkat is wearing banana costume*  
  
Sailor Enigma: DOH!!!!!! *Captain Howdie fixes replicator* *Jkat returns to normal* Sailor Starhealer replies by throwing lightning at Fighter!  
  
Jupiterkat: Woo! Pretty! But Fighter doesn't seem to think so, she retaliates by shooting an- Ohmygosh! A double beam! It goes flying at Healer AND Maker! Spiffy.  
  
Sailor Enigma: OMYGOSH!!!!!! That is so pretty!!!! It hits Healer.... but oh no.... Maker leans forward in preparation for the deadly...  
  
Starmaker: TAIKI FOREHEAD REFLECTION!!!  
  
Sailor Enigma: COVER YOUR EYES!!!!!!!  
  
Jupiterkat: AAAACK! *covers eyes and hides under table* *The arena is filled with brilliant impenetrable white light*  
  
Sailor Enigma: ACK!!!!!! *covers eyes* I hope the viewers did so too! *light goes away* Healer and Fighter are now in a fist-fast! Fighter has the advantage of size... but Healer is faster! Who'll win?  
  
Jupiterkat: I dunno but at this rate the loser will be the lucky one! Oh no! Fighter's down! But Maker wasn't destroyed in the blast! He's going after Healer!  
  
Starhealer: STAR SENSITIVE INFERRRRNO!  
  
Sailor Enigma: It bounces off Maker's chest! He was distracted by something...... *looks up into stands*  
  
Bill Gates and Bill Clinton: Yoohoo! Taiki! *blowing kisses*  
  
Jupiterkat: *shudders* I don't think I wanna see how this one finishes.  
  
Sailor Enigma: Sailor Starfighter grabs Healer and throws him into Maker! He throws a laser at them....... ahhhh! *dodges flying hot dog stand chunks*  
  
Jupiterkat: Could this possibly be the end? Or yet another suspenseful climactic scene? Only time will tell!  
  
Sailor Enigma: Ahhh! Fighter smacks Healer who flies into the light switch! *darkness* *lights turn on* Ahhhhh! Maker is..... laying there..... dead........ Bill Gates and Bill Clinton mourn his death!  
  
Jupiterkat: I dunno what they're on but...Oh me oh my! Healer is beating on Fighter again! But Fighter isn't taking it too lightly! He Hits to the left! Jabs to the right! Then does a twirly kicky thing! Healer is barley standing! One more blow and she's a gonner! Fight is ready to finish her off. But....Why is she waiting? Engma, I don't think she can do it!  
  
Sailor Starhealer: *looks up* I ain't going out like that *kicks fighter*  
  
Sailor Engma: Fighter falls over! Ouch!  
  
Jupiterkat: It looks like Healer doesn't have as high a moral sense as Fighter! She cam to fight and she's gonna gosh darn it! With one immense Star Sensitive Inferno she....ewwwwwww....blows up fighter's head...for the second time...Man that must bite. Man that must...really be snotty.  
  
Sailor Engima: *ponders* I think that perhaps healer should get outta town..... *looks at the elves restraining Usako on the sidelines* Epp! That was a great fight! Wow! be sure to come back next week for the FINAL battle in the Sailor War Supreme Summer/Fall Series!  
  
Jupiterkat: It's gonna be a doozy!  
  
Sailor Enigma: The battle is Inners vs. Outers! Who'll win? We dunno! You pick! Look forward to the entrance another announcer..... and this time it's a guy! Look forward to meeting our new resident manga expert next week!  
  
Jupiterkat: C'mon Engima! Let's get outta here! Usako looked slighty piddled. A heehee...'Till next time! And remember Les canards en caouchouc sont extremement violent s'ils n'ont pas de la fromage.  
  
Sailor Engma: *blink blink* Apple juice looks like tinkle.  
  
Jupiterkat: yeeeees....let's go. *Jupiterkat and Sailor Enigma trot off while two SDM elves follow behind clacking coconuts together* 


End file.
